My whole life I have been searching for a holy grail outside myself. The feeling and the connecting of mother compassion, comfort, safety and love. As a young boy fighting to stay alive my first 24 hrs I have developed binding problems, Rasing in an emotional unavailable family has caused patters and systems that I am learing to change for the man I am today. being misunderstood because of my high sensitivity by myself and others caused a journey of grief, pain, mourning and fear to be loved. Last december I lost all hope on love when I lost my partner who was the first i dare to show all my colours of intimacy and vulnerability and I fell down so hard almost again being homeless. letting go and accept the heart break cost me almost a year to overcome. I was so in love with her and the grief period as intens when you have opened your soul for a karmic connection of unconditional love experience and the steps to get there together. I have lost unexpected a lot of people that provided me the basics that a baby needs and my way of dealing was to punish myself and go on as a lonely wolf turning grief into pain and go on fighting myself day after day. In love relationships I only asked my ex- partners three things: don't lie, don't hide and don't cheat. Looks simpel right? but in reality I always end up in discussions and fights. The problem is I stay in the relation and gives away the control to the other rather then to trust my intuition and sensitivity gifts. i adjusted myself over and over again forgive the other and took the blaim on me even when I felt somethings are off. The truth is not in the discussion but to stand for your own need, bounderies and safety. being loyal to yourself is the only truth there is to stay in balans and be loved just the way you are being good enough. . Do you agree?